The Crazy Parady of Nonsense Rambles

And i know im not always the best listener, i get sidetracked and confused i lose myself in my own little word. I know im not the girl of your dreams, I don't look good without make up and im too big in some areas and way too tiny in others. I know that my heart is falling apart its tied together with all sorts of useless things and my memory holds on to more of the bad than the good. but I try. I am also a dreamer, so i imagine what life could be. I imagine me and you. I think of all the places we could see and things we could do. I envision you happier than ever before and sometimes I let myself pretend im the reason for that joy. So right now I'm seeing the world so much darker than it really is, but tomorrow, I promise I'll see the blindingly good side instead, so long as you'll give me the night to make the change. Oh and I know my heart is small, but i love you with every ounce of love everyone alive or dead has ever had to give and i love you for so much more than just that.

*www.iwrotethisforyou.me

I need to thank you for smiling too because if it weren't for you knowing how to feel and having no where else to go I wouldnt be able to read these thoughts. I wouldn't be able to do the things I need to do and be inspired to create the things I create in response to your words telling me that pain can be good and love is even better than that and that feelings really are ok. And living in the world I live in you would never be able to assume the person I am but from finding your words I like to think I am a better person even if others dont always see it - even if i don't always see it. And I know you read our comments, you know where some of us are coming from and you know what its like to be in awe of someone else, so thank you. Really all I am trying to say is thank you.

I am in love because of you.

I am happy because of you.

I truly live because of you.




*why you find this
                                               * why i write

The Late Christmas Party

It was nice to see you again today.  We've missed you and your smile so very much. 

The Remains of a Galaxy

I was taught to believe that we are all made of dust and ash, but that was false information. You are made of stardust.  Growing up they told me that we're all here for different reasons but to do the same thing. Only we aren't because some are here to live and others are here to  love.  (yes, it does make a difference.) And they always said that all of us were born the same way. We weren't. I was an accident of pleasure.  You were intended as the last hope of a generation.  

The Shining Sun

Good morning to another Beautiful Soul. Get up. Get dressed. Come outside. The world and I, well, we have a surprise for you. Oh, and don't forget to smile today. 

The New Moon

Today wasn't the best. That  person you got upset with today? The one that couldn't look at you as your heart broke a little more than before. It wasn't that I didn't care or that I was ignoring you. It's just that I love you so much that I couldn't be the one to break you more. Today wasn't great. Tomorrow will be better

The Togetherness of Loneliness

And you find me here every day writing words dedicated to you, meant for you, but really for everyone in their own special way. You know me better than you know yourself.  You feel everything I feel every time I feel it. And even though I feel so alone lying in bed each night staring at plastic stars surrounded by pencil drawn angels, it does help to know there's someone else out there closer than I realize and much more important than the people here I call friends. 

The Togetherness of Timing

There is a beautiful person reading these words right now.  They feel the breath of everyone else across wires reading them at the exact same time. And they are wondering if that feeling is as good as the feel of a lovers words dancing on their neck or not, but I hope they realize with a lover like you nothing will come close to that feeling of being tangled within ourselves. Whether it's literal and we are between sheets and sunrise or figurative losing ourselves in words and memories other people would almost certainly forget.

                                                                               You are beautiful.

                                                                                 Thank you.

The View From the Top

Don't let me hurt you again.

The Note In Your Locker

Don't do it for me. Don't do it for the kids making fun of you. Don't do it to please your parents and their stupid ways. You owe it to yourself to stay as happy as you are right now.


Please don't forget that. 

The Unexpected Bliss

Just when I think I've forgotten how to smile you remind me what it's like to do so much more than that. 

The End is Not Goodbye

I need you to understand that I'm not doing this to hurt you - or anyone. I am just doing it because I need to live my life for myself and not for you.

The Elegant Sketch

As you stand here reading this you may not know why you are here or what you will be doing in the future, But that is the beauty of time. Your thoughts are the outline for  your life and each action is a fine detail adding effect to your masterpiece.

The Bliss Will Return

I miss the way we made each other smile just by catching a glimpse of the other,  and how everyone else in the room caught on to the joy we felt and they felt it too. I miss the way your lips felt pressed against mine as movies half way watched played in the background and how we could hear every word your parents said from the kitchen down stairs. I miss the way we could tell each other everything and even if we were judging or disapproving of it we still made everything feel okay before sharing those opinions. And as much as I miss you and all the moments we shared I'm really not worried because something tells me we will share even better times someday. 

The Semi wilting Roses

I wish I could grant your wishes.

                           I wish you were only ever happy.

                                                 I wish that I could be the reason you smile.

The Doctors Couldn't Help

Being in love is the illness and being with you is the only cure

I am so sorry it's so cheesy, but its true...

The Magician's Hat and Cape

Your quotes play through my mind everyday when I arrive at any situation I didn't have the chance to ask you about. I know you'd think them still and then your mind goes in my direction. You are all I've ever needed and I miss you so much more than any words could ever convey.

P.S.  I even miss all of your lame card tricks.

The Words I Forgot to Write

I haven't seen you in forever, how have you been?

That's what they say when they pass you on the street or see you in line at the coffee shop down town when they want you to think that you are still a friend, even though you're not. They make you feel like you haven't been forgotten, like you matter to someone, even if they don't always show it. But really they only that, they only want you to feel that way so they don;t seem so lonely in front of actual strangers. And so they aren't as bored as they feel. The only problem is you believe them, that you matter, that you havent been forgotten, when you have. You didn't matter at all and you never will.

And that hurts. so when your letter said "Alice, you're not forgotten" I think you should know that those words killed me. Those words haunt my dreams and chase away my memories. Even the shadows think me foolish to believe you now.

The Perfectly Imperfect Lovers

I love all the crazy little things you do, like the kisses and kisses attacking me just because or the way you flip out over people touching your guitar. I love how you care about everyone in every way possible and the dictionary of words  for us only to be whispered across busy telephone lines late at night. Thank you for being so amazingly insane. 

The If and Only If

"Accept compliments and give praise." That's what you said to me. I just wish you understood why I do the things I do.

The Beauty of the Problem

The time machine always seems to take me to the wrong place when I have something specific I hope to fix. What's funny about it though is that it keeps taking me back to the day we met.

The Ghost Came Home

Even in your silence you are wonderful...

the return

Im sorry I missed you yesterday. Its just that so much was happening and I thought we both deserved a break. I am so glad you are back though. Have a great day.

The Words for Many Were Meant for One

And as I sit here click clacking away at my keyboard trying to write something my pen failed so many times with. Something that will bring you to your knees with emotion and tears of joy because yes one person can really mean so much to me. Because yes there are people out there who can make a lost girl feel so alive again and they didn't even have to try. The lights are getting dimmer and the sun is rising higher. Clouds are moving far away giving us just one more clear beautiful day. And you are somewhere still in bed waiting for a reason to get up, wondering what you have created for yourself this time. Well, you have created a family that loves you and misses you every time you are away. You have made yourself a home in more hearts than you know and touched more souls than most ever could. But really, the most important thing of all, is that you have found a reason to be happy when the world beat you down. You found joy in nothingness and emptiness. So please, have a wonderful day. Smile for me. I'll see you again soon. I'm coming back home tonight. 

The Smiling Sun Resurfaced

I honestly forgot how good it feels to laugh this much. It really does make you feel like flying. You are amazing.

Thank you.




*for a lot of people mostly Ash. 

The Sky Is Missing Something

I know that you cannot fly all around the world or save every time that needs you in any sort of small way but you can be there when your friends need you. You can be the one people come to for advice an hope when there seems to be none left. I know that you probably won't wear tights or a cool looking cape but you will smile and laugh just to keep someone else from tears. You know that the power of being happy is better than being able to see through things or having massive strength. I know that you are something but you see yourself as almost nothing. You are invincible. A hero if only you wanted to be.  And as the days to come pass, I promise you will see it too.

The Paint Blends Easily

You and I are a little rough around the edges by ourselves but together we soften each other out quite nicely.

The Acts Remain Plentiful

The script is a useless outline, just be yourself and forget the surrounding world

The Butterflies Still Dance

And you are a wonderful conversationalist and an outstanding person. The only problem is my spark doesn't seem to reach you the way it should.

The Clouds Are Silk

Right now you are so high you are so blissful that nothing could go wrong. And that's a good place to be. Just remember to share that feeling now so that when you do slip a little someone else can pick up just a little easier than they could if you fell without helping anyone first. Besides, I know why you are like this, and I hope it lasts because you deserve it. 

The Way Bugs Live

I don't really know how we did it, but we were both so raw and ugly, both so lost and hurt. And somehow we managed to make each other whole and safe, beautiful and real. Thank you.

The Water Lilly

You have always been so beautiful. I don't know why they have never been able to see that.

The Trail Splits Up Ahead:

And even though I know you are leaving soon I am not hurt at all. There are no tears in my eyes.  No sorrow in my heart. You are happy. So I will be too.

I love you.

                    Goodbye.

The Sunrise

I know its a little later than I promised, I just sorta, woke up late. But I'm here now, I promise to make things right, and you'll see that soon. Have a good day. Enjoy wonderful experiences and playful people everywhere you go. Smile, please, that's the only reason I get out of bed each day, your smile. Your hope. Your pure positive influence. And above all, your love. 

the Fate Weavers

No one ever knows what is going to happen beforehand, that's part of living and anticipating the future. And it's such a shame so many give up, they get bored in the lobby or annoyed with the wait so they do drastic things. Things no one should ever want to do. But they do. Because they feel they must. Beautiful experiences and lovely people are waiting for you. You just don't get to know anything else beforehand. It would ruin the surprise.