The Time Machine

I found a way to stop myself from hurting you as we sat in the pews old the old church that Thursday morning waiting to go down the stairs and line up on the risers ready to sing those tired old loves songs for each other and the whole church filled audience around. I found a way to stop myself from giving you the pen that you used to write "P.C. <3 M.K 4EVER" on your left palm when I whispered into your ear, "You look handsome today." I found a way to stop myself from kissing your amazing pale lips in the rain as I wore your navy blazer over my strapless navy dress. The way to stop it is to use the new closet sized invention to go back to that cool day in February and warn me not to ever say "I love you" because you would only hate me for it. It would save you detention and save my mascara from staining my face for that next week. The only thing is, I don't want to forget the day because ten months have passed and I still love you... as a brother, as a friend, as someone important in my life. Instead of the sleepless nights in your arms that we always dreamed of I drown in a poisonous pool of tears. Just to know you are happy I found a way to take back that day and spare all the other men of the standards you once set. And in cause you know how to find this and you see your picture plastered all over this stupid site, I hope you didn't forget me the way everyone else did. I'm sorry I'm the reason you moved so far away. I'm sorry I was your angel and then I tore you down to the depths of that burning place lower than low. And I remember the way you kissed me on the steps of that church and all the other kids laughed and said that we were forever. I remember my mother standing so close and calling you cute, but never getting any of the things we had done behind her back. And I can still see the way you looked at me with your black eye with such dispise that I could lie to you the way I did, and I'm so sorry I did. I just hope you understand, things were over before they started with that one and that you still hold a piece of my heart and a story I will never be able to admit is true to the others in the future that I may learn to love.

I don't know why I thought of you today of all days, but you really are someone I'll never forget... and should anyone else find and read this, I'm sorry I lied to you too, because I guess I forgot a story because I was unable to tell it for so long. . .