The Way It Needs to Begin

As we stood in the hallway, enveloped in an eerie silence giving way to no true signs of worry nor happiness,  I wondered what exactly would come of these few minutes. The first we were truly alone, with no one able to sneak up on us, no one wanting to tear us apart, no one around to see the people we actually could be together. I heard you breathing so deep, so scared. I felt your heart beat, first fast then so very slow. I saw the words racing through your mind, your eyes really do tell all. You and I always talked about the things we would do if we were actually alone, I'm just so glad we didn't dare to try that night. Wind was beating on the windows, the doors were all unlocked, and I well I just wanted to cry.

After a few moments we stepped into my room, my sanctuary, my world, the place that I have watched myself bleed the crimson drops I have honestly yet to reget and where I have taken pictures no eyes should ever see; and yet the only place no one has ever been allowed to enter. It was amusing to hear you laugh at the pictures scattered around and calming to joke around with headbands and hats I haven't worn or seen in years. Everything seemed so perfect, as I wondered what exactly you managed to think about.

And then came the kisses, the stillness wrapped in life lessons I have to know. At first we stood in the center of the chaos, the calm before the storm, though it seems that did not last long. Once it was obvious no one would pull up in the driveway and question the teal truck; because no one was on their way home to make dinner for children hungry after a long and busy Saturday, or to please a spouse with all the things they have dreamed of and bragged of to coworkers that really means nothing when it happens so often; we began to free ourselves of the boundaries we have set any other time we sat together. Hands were set lose to roam wherever they wanted, but they refused to go too far along anyone. Heads were resting wherever they could be comfortably nestled. Hearts said things they have been too afraid to say.

That was the night we knew where we belonged. It was the night we were truly happy. Most importantly though it was the night when anything could have happened.

To be continued...