The Empty Hearts

I just wanted to tell you the bookstore cat says hi. The bookstore owner said youre more than welcome back any time you want. The park bench where we sat first has little kids picknicking autumn treats. And the red one we sat the second time had ducks waving, begging for bread crumbs. I know there isnt a memory here but the tree where we sat the second day asked me to climb it and hang upside down. When i did it told me all the reasons we know you love me. And love those days. The ice cream parlor though, is frozen. Youre still in the isle seat of the second large glistening table from the back. Ash is across and im beside you laughing as i turned strawberry (the classic signature strawberry smile just for you.) My heart doesnt ache when i see you there. Thanks.

The Voices Remained

I know I haven't lost you. I know we are bound to meet again. I know there has to be at least one more kiss.  But I went to the old bookstore on oak yesterday, I sat where we sat that Monday afternoon hiding from the crisp windy day outside. The cat came up to me and sat in my lap, he said he was sorry for clawing and biting your hand. I told him I knew you'd accept his appology, and he was happy about that until I started crying. He looked up at me with his beautiful, mesmerizing, story book eyes and asked me to follow him. We walked out the store's front door and to the parking spot that held your white mustang, we heard you whisper, "she's here!" He jumped into my arms and smiled, "that's when he realized he was in love." I stood there in awe before he led me into the shop again and to the movie rack where you said the first word, it lingered there, "Madison?" And then back to the chairs with red and gold paisley on them, he sat where you did and told me everything would be okay... until he noticed the tears had yet to fade. So, he made me sit in silence petting him like we did the day all three of us met... I heard all the things we said that day. At some point or another, I saw myself drying the crystal drops and Poe said, "look if you stand up you will feel him hug you again and feel the kiss as you said I love you to him. I know for a fact he loves you. I know he's going to take care of you, stop crying"

At that point I ran out of the bookstore, that ebony cat following me. He says that the three of us were new to each other that Monday and that someday we will all be there again but something else thats important will happen there. He thinks he knows what will happen. He knows that you and I have a massive potential of being soulmates... I guess my question now is, do you agree? 

The Evolving Knowledge

Never will a day pass when something about your life or you doesn't change. 

The Thing I'll Never Ask

I wish I could know... how long you were/have...

a) been with them...                                 c) aware that you are a beautiful person
b) loved a child                                       d) happy before now


Never will I ask you to answer. Never will I beg you again. Just keep enjoying what you read. 

The Only Perfection Life Has

If you have ever been enveloped in the arms of someone you love you will understand what I am about to say. If you have not however, then you know that there is much to look forward to. The pain melts away, smiles cloak the surrounding world, and hearts whisper secrets for only the two of you to hear. By far though, the best part is fully seeing and believing how much love the world holds for you just so you can experience such beauty. If you have ever been enveloped in the arms of someone you love you will understand its a moment or a day that you could never pass up. If you have not however, then I hope you now see just how much is waiting for you.

The Leaves Have To Fall

"Hey, you've reached me but I can't get to the phone right now," the speaker echoed as you sat behind the wheel.
"Hello, Princess, it's me, I just wanted you to know that I'm coming home. I'll be there late, but I'm on my way. I'll see you soon. Okay, well this is, uh, me, and I miss you baby." you smiled falsely.
Well, I've been waiting for you, I know how much pain you were in. They found this in your hand after you died, it was written on an old crumpled napkin:

I only wish I could have told you I won't make it home. I wish I could have told you that I screwed up. I wish I had told you in person. I love you with all I have. But I have a secret, I've been married since before I met you... We haven't been happy in a long time though. We don't share a bed. We haven't had sex since the day it was said and done. We don't even talk. It won't mean much to you, but I still love you, that hasn't changed and it never will. I'm sorry I kept it from you. I know this hurts you, I know I'm probably killing you right now as you're reading this, I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you in person, I couldn't simply break up with you either, because I knew you'd be pissed and I couldn't live with myself knowing I caused that. And princess, I'm so sorry. I know you'll never forgive me, but I guess that's kinda why I did this part. It was so you'd be happy. Princess, I messed up  I fucked up. I'm sorry. I love you... 

My baby butterfly, forever. 

With love,
Steven... 


But right now, I just want to let you know, I saw an indent on your finger... where a ring had to have been once before. I simply chose to ignore it. We all have a past we'd rather not tell. And I saw a story in your eyes, I just didn't know how to read it. I'm sorry I believed you. I'm sorry I let you love me. I'm so sorry though, more sorry than I've ever been before, I'm sorry I was able to keep your attention...


P.s.I would never really kill YOU off. 

The Careful Instructions

This is a touchstone. It is exactly as the name says. Something to hold on to when youre sad, when youre remember them, when you love, and when you hate. Its something they loved more than life itself. Sometimes it is the same touch stone they had for another and sometimes it isnt. Some of them have stories, but this one doesnt. a very rare few give power not yours. In fact this one does you no good for anything except holding on to..

The Holiday Suggests It

I guess I should mention just how lucky I am to have met you. At least you showed me I am a stronger person than I once thought. Im so sorry I believed you for so long though, because now Im only thankful that youre gone.

The Breeze smiled devishly

Don't trust them. Any of them. You don't need it. Any of it.

The Old Bookstore and Black Cat

I guess Ill always remember the day you wasted a full hour or longer talking to a complete stranger in the musty book shop. i guess ill always remember seeing you so happy, at least I hope it was happiness I saw. I guess Ill always remember the faded red and gold floral dining room chairs with ebony cat hair cloaking them. I dont think Ill ever be happier, so should you find this the way i found the tiny plastic purple beads, thank you.

The Short Note for you

Lately, I just don't think words are on my side; nor do I think I have anything to say. All the emotions I had to express have been and I simply see nothing else worth etching into anyone else's brain. Honestly, I don't think I'm myself anymore so please bare with me for a while. 

The Little Mermaid Can't Swim

Sometimes you have to keep trying. Sometimes it's impossible to give up. Sometimes there are things you love but just can't do, you love those things so keep trying anyway. 

The Lazy Syndrom

I guess Im not writing lately because Im busy. I guess its because I have nothing to write about. I guess its because you're bored of me. My excuses are lame - sorry. Lately Im just... Lazy