The Skeleton Remains of Us

I dont know if you remember when we were young and thought we knew everything, I don't know if you remember the way we listened to music as we sat in the sun speaking nonsense that made everyone else believe that we had gone crazy. I don't know if you remember horse back riding through open fields without a clue where we were going, when secrets spilled  so effortlessly. Do you remember the way that we took pictures of each other in every oddly unimaginable way we could because we were together happily for the first time? And years from now when you find this again, will you still remember when we were young and thought we knew everything, will you remember the way we made life and all the world jealous of us and the simple ways we made things enjoyable. Never will I forget being with you, and I hope you are the same way. But right now it seems like you have gone away and I really just want you to know that I miss you so much.

The Scripting Process

Someday we will be old and grey with sparkling, shimmering eyes and crookedly wonderful smiles. Notebooks from when we were teenagers, against the world and everything within it,  will be lined on shelves in some sort of odd order or scattered across the living room floor (our backs couldn't handle picking them all up.) Each one filled with dream-like aspirations and moments we refuse to forget. Your hands will be leathery from playing guitar, too much that you can only teach others from the back porch instead.  Every night we will sit on the silky piano bench (crimson with ebony designs to represent ourselves and the people we once were) so I can play the songs that mean the most to us. Sometimes you will put your arm around me a d whisper all our secrets again and when the song's delicate notes fade into silence you will pull me close for one of our unforgetable kisses. Other times, you will stand behind me, mesmerized by the perfection and grace. Early in the summer we will sit beneath the stars sharing sweet nothings and sugarplum touches. In the depths of winter we will curl up with each other listening to a friendly fire crackle as we take turns reading poetry, lyrics, and short stories aloud to each other (and children or grandchildren should they ever occur.) Someday we will be old and closer to our end. But we will feel young and free knowing that nothing could ever make us happier. The clock will be ticking, each breath keeping tally, and still there will be no fear or sorrow, because we were in love for all those years.

I know it's a lot and it may not be what you want but it's my attempt at telling you that I really do love you and hope that we have forever to share.

The Season Has Begun

I know I don't know you and you don't know me (or I guess we could have done more than simply passed each other by on the street the way I always imagine as I write these things) but I want you to know that you are amazing and wonderful no matter what others have to say.  And as you know holidays are coming up soon and family will be gathering harmlessly once again, so I hope you believe me when I say that only beautiful things are on their way to you.  Oh, and love is always with you (even if it is just the love I send your way every morning.) So smile, and go on with your day finding all the best parts of the world surrounding you.

The Peace Made with Now

So tomorrow is all about history, new beginnings, and being grateful for what we already have. Whether that is a crust of bread or an entire feast.  And even though you don't have everything you want, you do have a lot. I mean you can read these words on a brightly lit screen that others only dream of.  Oh and you have me, now and forever. I hope that is enough of a reason to be ok with what you have, even if it is not everything someone else has.

I love you.

I miss you.

It is all alright.

Be well. 

the lighthouse is hope and ignorance

Angels and daemons they both exist. You can allow the dark ones to pass through the golden gates to all things good and an eternal existence of pure bliss. and you can give white winged beauties never to be forgotten a one way ticket to the only place anyone's imagination could ever fear more than death and fear themselves. There is something satisfactory in knowing you have such power, but you should know, once a person has been placed somewhere it is almost guaranteed that they will not see the flames and sparks of anywhere different so long as they shall live.

The Little Things People Do

It's okay, I never payed you enough either. Although when I think about it I know why I didn't. And I regret it every day. So whenever I go to the grocery store or out eat I always tip the people I meet more than I should. And honestly, I know that does not make my actions anymore moral or fair, but I hope it helps, just a little.

The Emotional Soldiers' Call to Arms

I know you have had a rough time lately. And I'm sorry about that. Maybe this will cheer you up:

I love you I love you I really really love you.

And in case you have not noticed, this awkward pile of effortlessly strung words are going to use up all of my allotted public displays of affection and when the world asks me how many different things I did for how many different people I will look them in the eye and smile as I explain that I only ever did one remarkable thing for one stunning person. I will also find great pleasure in telling them that what I did made everyone else who came in contact with these breadcrumb pathway like pieces of my heart so completely jealous that angels begged me to try something else to honor you.  To me you are worth all of it though. Anyone else who may win my heart will think me so completely boring they probably won't last all that long.

Forever and Always, (I promise ove.)

With Eternal Ove,
Your Angel

The Whispering

You know you belong here.

                 You know that I matter.

                             So where are you today?

The Business Trip Became Pleasure

You know you belong here.

 You know that I matter.

So where are you?

The Grey Clouds are Rainless

You know you belong here. 

You know that I matter.

So where are you today?

The Music Becomes Part of Us

There is just something about feeling the way that we feel that makes everyone jealous of us and all the things we do. Thank you for introducing me to this type of joy :)

The Massive Look Into My Mind

to preface this please view: http://www.iwrotethisforyou.me/2008/11/solitary-figure.html and http://www.iwrotethisforyou.me/2008/09/bonus-round.html

look, I know you are gone for now, maybe for good, but imma rant here anyway. Maybe someday I'll make it a poem or a story, but for now it'll be written waiting for your eyes and your eyes only; should they ever find this. My heart belongs to you, my soul is in your hands, and my mind is rarely anything close to rational when you are around. Granted, I'm rarely rational at all, ever anyway. But I am going to pour myself out to you anyway, I am going to just tell you all I can, because it's all I know and all I will ever know. And there are so many things I would not normally say, though I believe I have the oppertunity to say them here, without judgement or harrassment out of fear for your reactions, emotions, thoughts, or even opinons in terms of what I am dying to make known to you and someday to the world as well; not that you want that to happen for quite some time, not that that will happen until I have published a book and found my way to you.

Length of my thoughts never seems to push you away so I hope that is still the case here. 

Yes, I love you. Yes, I dream of you in ways I shouldn't; with more detail than I have let on to. Yes, sometimes I am a typical teen chick and I do things around you for shock factor and reactions showing some sort of love or compassion. Love, that is not at all what you want to hear but it is all I know  that is true and when I get on my rants like this, you are gonna get truth, pain,and probably a bit more love in your heart for me; that i if you have any there at all to begin with. And there is a lot I am hoping this will help m get off my chest. (Yes som of it,you are already fully aware of)

Lets start with things you know:

• I love you more than I thought was possible or right

• I wish that you were happy, more than I wish for anything else

• I am pretty sure that I will get better, so any sense of urgancy is more than useless

• I wish that you didn't always worry so much about me

• I hope that only good things find their way to you from now until the end of time

• I miss you

• oh yeah and I LOVE YOU!

Now on to something  I know will make you smile:

Dream house ideas:

• tree house like i've already shown you

• somewhere with some sort of scenery

• a glass wall on an outer space (does that make sense?)

• Nightmare before christmas room for us to watch all the movies we love

• An observatory for star gazing (sorr,love stars though you are the brightest one I'll ever see)

• a library with artsy ceilings, poetry covered bookshelves and floors, a million books- including the ones we write.

• a fire pit outside somewhere

• a room for an area to just be, write, read, breathe, anything

Enough listing, back to ranting sorry. 

If I ever met you, face to face, I would want it to be something simple; so I could just know that you actually are the person I am in love with.I wouldn't be specific because I really only want an experience where I get to meet you and just be with you. 

Of all the things I day dream, all the things I have ever really hoped for, none of them have ever been so vivid until I met you. (You don't understand this, because you have only ever heard my simple almost innocent ones; in hopes you wouldn't judge or hate me) Of all the things I even dared to allow to cross my mind,  none of those things have ever brought me any sort of joy or sense of wellness or even simply hope until you began inspiring those thoughts, and please please dont take that the wrong way... I've never wanted to be around anyone nearly as much as I wish I could be around anyone else (I am a massively depessed recluse, I suppose) 

I've never wished I could hug someone nearly as much as I wish I could just hug you once before Time takes me away. Maybe that is proof that I love you...

Anyway, I guess I'm done taking up your time. 

P.S i hope you are O.K

the roses are waiting at your door

I don't know where to go from here but as my friend always says, the best time to find yourself is when you are lost. But before I start searching for anything, I want you to know my love for you is stronger than the moon's pull on the ocean. I said forever and always and I intend to keep that up, until Death dies and even after the ends of time.

The Ghost Roses

|know you don't know where thoughts come from but dreams come from those thoughts. I need you to understand that origins don't always matter

The Circuitry Class Became Biology

You are made of me and I am made of you, but how do we know if we have enough of each other to keep from falling apart. I am made from bits and pieces of others (memories they begged to forget and pain they refused to carry on any farther) but it was never enough to keep them around. You and me, we're different than them though. We're stitched together with love, we're handcrafted from the most unique pieces of glass on Earth, we're ourselves and then each other. And that's enough for me, I hope it is enough for you too.

The Blue, Blue Sky

  Everyone sees the sky filled with clouds and hope. Only lovers see the same colors and friends see the same shapes. I don’t know why this is, I simply that it is the fact. You, as much as you deny it, you know too. You believe it with every fiber of your being, just as you believe in magic behind everything. Yes, you are right, there is magic in everything, there is peace in love, and there is hope in life. I think you might want to find that before deciding whether or not you should take such a precious life.

The Memories Became People

I know for a short while you tried that lifestyle, and even the one I live now. I know you did not enjoy them, so you crafted your own from the molds of your skin. I know you are going mad wondering what I will make of myself and who others will be because of me. But I need you to stop worrying, I need your mind somewhere safe… please.  

The Way I Meant to End the Letter

Should you ever need to become a work of art I could reshape you from nothing but clay with only my hands as a reference. That is how much time we spent together before I lost myself while trying to find myself. Should you ever need to become a story for those to come along in the future I could write in my sleep. That is how well I know you, even now, now that I am absent from this life you love so much. Should you ever need to become more than you are, I would convince the world that you were God. That is how much love I have for you in this tattered, torn heart.

If you have found this, I hope you understand. Now that you have seen this, I want you to know that it is the sign you have been looking for.

The Patterns People Make

Will you be the best part of my life?